Every so often, something happens in sports or some other area of life which leaves us all shaking our heads and exclaiming aloud: “You can’t make this shit up.”
ICYMI: The Houston Astros, winners of the 2017 World Series, are emmeshed in a scandal surrounding their use of technology and trash cans to steal opposing teams’ signs that year. The team has launched a massive publicity campaign with the start of spring training (call it the Astros Apology Tour if you will), with the express intent of putting this behind them and moving on. Of course, their efforts are having the exact opposite effect: stoking the fires of outrage among players as spring training progresses.
Aaron Judge, famous Yankee, spoke thusly of the Astros’ 2017 title: “I just don’t think it holds any value for me. You cheated and you didn’t earn it.”
Nick Markakis, not-as-famous Brave, spoke thusly: “Every single guy over there needs a beating.”
LeBron James, famous in a different sport, opined via Twitter: “If someone cheated me out of winning the title and I found out about it I would be irate! I mean like uncontrollable about what I would/could do! Listen here, baseball commissioner, listen to your players speaking today about how disgusted, mad, hurt, broken (they are), about this. Literally the ball is in your court (or should I say field) and you need to fix this for the sake of Sports!”
MLB commissioner Rob Manfred, to whom James referred in his tweet, apologized for earlier remarks in which he referred to the trophy given to the World Series champion as “a piece of metal”. Said piece of metal is named–wait for it–the Commissioner’s Trophy.
You can’t make this shit up.
On January 17, commissioner Manfred concluded his investigation into the Astros’ sign-stealing affair by stripping the Astros of two draft picks and suspending GM Jeff Lunhow and manager AJ Hirsch, both of whom were immediately fired. Manfred took great pains to characterize the sign-stealing as “player-driven”, yet no players were sanctioned in any way. Why? Because he wanted the full and frank cooperation of the players in the investigation and he felt that the only way to get it was to offer full immunity. Also he did not wish to tangle with the players’ union. Anytime MLB gets crosswise with the players’ union, it does not go well for MLB.
Note that no attempt has been made to strip the Astros of their ill-gotten 2017 title. Why? We’ll let Manfred speak for himself on that: “I am a believer in the idea that precedent happens and when you deviate from that, you have to have a very good reason. The report gave people a transparent account of what went on. We put people in position to make their own judgments about the behavior that went on. That certainly has happened over the last month. The idea of an asterisk or asking for a piece of metal back seems like a futile act.”
You can’t make this shit up.
“Precedent happens” because some people set it. Other people come along later and break it if they feel the need. There are times when this breaking of precedent is completely warranted and appropriate. Not in Manfred’s universe, though. As to the “transparent account” provided by the report of which Manfred spoke: Subsequent reporting by the Wall Street Journal would reveal that said report didn’t even begin to get remotely close to the bottom of it. Finally, the piece de resistance: “piece of metal”.
You can’t make this shit up.
Given a few days to think about what he said, Manfred spoke thusly on Tuesday: “I want to apologize for that. There’s no excuse for it. I made a mistake. I was trying to make a point, but I should have made it in a more effective way.”
Allow me to offer a suggestion for what he should have said instead: “I’ve botched this. Every time I open my mouth I only make it worse. Here’s where I make it better: I hereby resign.”
The Black Sox threw the 1919 World Series, and they didn’t get to keep their piece of metal. The steroids era left a whole generation of records with an asterisk next to them. Yet the 2017 Astros get no asterisk and they get to keep their piece of metal. Manfred knew what happened–well, some of it–and decided to dock the GM and manager and a couple of draft picks and call it a day.
You can’t make this shit up, people.
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